she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We are two peas in an std pod
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
