I am full of burrito and curiosity
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
