I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
