I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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