i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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