The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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