Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
