tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
