I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
high people should be assigned attendants
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
