Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
