so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
