Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
