i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm gonna fight the coyote
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
