So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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