It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
