So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Drunk is not a location!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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