exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
