Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
