also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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