chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He felt like a one man threesome
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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