i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize