and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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