She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
