There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I believe in your delicious
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize