i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
