You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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