she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
