I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
