I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize