Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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