I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
