Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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