sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
