i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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