I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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