My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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