So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
