I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
