i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
