A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
