barbara walters just said penis...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The best revenge is premature balding
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize