you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
