FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
