porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
