I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I will be naked everywhere
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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