If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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