I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
