Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
