He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
