I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
