if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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