It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
