I love black thongs
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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