She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
