Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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