I'm drive I can fine osifer
Screwed.edu
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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