I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
