a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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