How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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